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Memory of a Monday

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I found an old journal/lyric/story book of mine and found this story/poem I wrote last fall. It reminded me of today so I thought I’d share…

 

Monday…ugh…begin the new week. Cold wind, rain on my cheek. The joyful sun now caged in grey. Even the birds await to sing on a better day. People mope about wishing for warmth. They gripe about the pressing storm. The Monday blues have swept over all like a wild inferno.¬†

Not much life stands today. Grey ashes cover the pathway. Lights are on inside. Smoke billows out the chimney as children gaze longingly outside hoping the sun will soon triumph. Through all this bleakness a bright ray appears. A strange sight for all. They wonder what could possibly make the grey retreat…

…A bright smile and a warm hug…

So the sun’s not out and the cold bites your skin. You want nothing to do with what’s within. Yet, precious moments are passing quickly as new ones draw near. This smile and hug are products of joy…a concoction of love for every minute lived. When all else fails there’s still someone else who has it worse. So dust yourself off and embrace one another. No regret is key. You’ll never know if you never try. Precious time is ticking by.

Monday is closing now. Just moments to spare. Take a stand and make someone’s day brighter.

 

Kinda makes sense if you don’t think about it ūüôā Anywho…sorry this isn’t a super deep post with anything outstanding or enlightening but my brain is kinda fried for school…maybe soon I will have another cool epiphany I can share. Until then, goodnight and God bless!

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A Piece of My Mind

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Alright my wonderful followers…few as you may be you mean the world to me. I never thought anyone would look at this blog so I am very thankful for you all! To day I have decided to do something different. I would like to share a song that I have written. It is a simple song but I feel that I should share it anyway ūüôā Enjoy!

Many times I’ve stumbled
Many times I’ve failed
Each time just drew me more away
Buy every  time you picked me up
and dusted me off
Because you are always there
 
You are my Savior
My Guiding Light
The One I can rely on
You’re the King of Kings
Above everything
You are my God!
 
Even in this darkness
I faintly see your light
Help me see it brighter every day
Hold me close
Don’t let me go
And fill me with your love
You are always there
 
You are my Savior
My Guiding Light
The One I can rely on
You’re the King of Kings
Above everything
You are my God!
 
Now I’m standing here
Arms open wide
I’m reaching for your mercy
I feel your love
Engulfing me
You blind my fears
 
You are my Savior
My Guiding Light
The One I can rely on
You’re the King of Kings
Above everything
You are my God!
 
Many times I’ve stumbled
But you are always there
(© Gerri Meye 2011)

Time to Breathe…

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about life and how mine has been. Before you go thinking anything let me just say that I know the past is the past and that you can’t change it. Not saying there is anything I would change now that I think about it…sure, there are things that I wish had happened differently or people and relationships that I wish had worked out better or to my advantage but that’s just it. It’s not about us. Everything I have gone through has made me who I am today and for that I would never change any of it. This past week, however, I had to write about my development from birth to age 18. It was quite honestly the most difficult assignment I have ever done. I have spent so much time trying to forget the past and just move on. I mean, who really hasn’t? Everyone has a past they are not proud of , just to different degrees. Mine, however, is one that I wish to never return to. Most people say that middle school was the worst time of their life. Actually, for me, that was the best time. High school was my nightmare. It actually still haunts me today and especially this past week.

I have learned a lot about it though just recently. They say people come and go and this is true. A lot of people went but just recently one came back and I am more than thankful for that person. If they are reading this, they should know who they are. Well, this person wasn’t the worst part of my high school days. Actually, they made most of them bearable, even though they never knew it. There were times, however, that I just wished they would go away. Then they actually did. Can’t say it was easy because it wasn’t. They have inspired so many of my songs and even though I have tried to forget all of my past, they are the one thing that I just can’t forget.

Whew…that was more than I planned to share but I’m glad I did because now you know where this came from. There are people in life that are worth fighting for and then there are those that seem like it but just drag you down. I have spent so much time focusing on which ones were which and missed a lot of the good ones. I worry about so much and how things will work out or what this or that meant. The thing is, though, all of that is a waste of time. We have no control over it. What we do or think is right for us usually isn’t. We must trust in God and His plan for our lives. That’s it. That’s my big epiphany. Lame? No…I don’t think so. I know a lot of you and especially I, worry about so many things that are so small compared to Him and His plan. Therefore, I am going to leave you with this verse. It has gotten me though a lot and I plan to get it as a tattoo someday so that I will never forget it because I often do…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanks giving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

Things that make you go hmmm…

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It’s been another boring weekend at work. Just staring at facebook and listenting to¬†Pandora. Today I decided to play a bit of solitaire. This, however, was a bad idea. I ended up playing for two hours before I finally won a game. Either I’m really bad at that game or the comupter was switiching cards around and laughing at me. Ah well.

Commercials.¬†Oh how¬†I despise¬†commercials. The ones on TV are okay and sometimes pretty good but the ones on the radio are just super annoying. I did hear two on Pandora this weekend, however, that made me giggle.¬†The first one¬†stated “This is the most romatic time of your life”…bahaha! If that were true, I might as well just stop now. I heard that and literally laughed out loud and my boss looked at me and asked if I was okay. Oh, goodness. I told her and she laughed too. At least we can laugh about it though.

The second one was advertising business cards. Sounds boring, right? That’s what I thought until I heard one of¬†their suggestions for using these 250 free cards…dating. For real right now?!?¬†Why?!? Who would even think about having a business card to hand out to people for DATING? What would you even put on this? Name, number, pros, cons, turn ons, turn offs, ect…I have no idea. If I ever was handed one from someone I wouldn’t be able to control my laughter. That’s just ridiculous. If you’re that desperate, there are plenty of online dating sites. Just saying. Wow…Just last night I was wathing cartoon network (Space Jam was on…it was a must see…then power puff girls lol) and there was a commercial for match.com…ON A CHILDREN’S CARTOON CHANNEL!!! Really right now? How about we just let kids into bars and give them dating cards…goodness people. Better yet, how about we just stop, think, and THEN act. The world would be a much better place. I know they say the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese…

Now that I am ranting, I will stop…I don’t have any deep thoughts for today. I was sitting here trying to think of something meaningful to post but this kept coming to mind. So there you¬†go. Straight from the mind of me…my somewhat amazing thoughts for this weekend. Now off to play more solitaire…Nelly is performing at The Toad here in town tonight so I’m gonna get outta here as soon as I’m done working and get back to BOMO! Until later, I will leave you with this interesting tidbit that I recently came across:

There is the very interesting Psalms 118…
1. Psalm 118 is the middle chapter of the entire Bible.
2. Psalm 117, before Psalm 118 is the shortest chapter in the Bible.
3. Psalm 119, after Psalm 118 is the longest chapter in the Bible.
4. The Bible has 594 chapters before Psalm 118 and 594 chapters after Psalm 118.
5. If you add up all the chapters except Psalm 118, you get a total of 1188 chapters.
6. 1188 or Psalm 118 verse 8 is the middle verse of the entire Bible.

And what is the message found in verse 118? “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” – Psalm 118:8

Picking Petals

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As I sit here at work staring at facebook and listining to Pandora, a lot of things come to mind. First, the drive home this morning was stunning. I absolutely LOVE early morning drives when it’s a clear blue sky and there’s nothing but back roads, morning dew on the green landscape of fields and trees, and some good old country music blaring on the radio. This is where my thoughts are most active and clear. Of course my thoughts usually drift toward what each song is about, and today was no exception to that.

I have heard countless people talk against country music.¬†They say it’s “emo with a twang” or “all about beer and back roads”. These people were obviously not listening to the actual song. Country music is about real life instead of immoral actions and hate (although a few country songs are). What I have noticed, though, is the this. The men of country sing about how much they love¬†or miss their love. Women, on the other hand, primarily sing about how awful thier exs or men in general are. This is quite contradictory in my opinion.

Why do we, as women, always focus on¬†all the negative aspects of past¬†and present relationships?¬† And men, why do you act as though you don’t care about women in person but sing about how much you care? My opinon? Well, of¬†course I will share that!

Women gain a sense of power and¬†control over the wrongs in their life from¬†knowing they are not alone.¬†I know I connect¬†almost everything in my life¬†to a song. Every moment, every¬†memory, and every thought have a theme song. When I have¬†gone through a bad time and I hear a song on the radio that depicts that¬†almost verbatum, I relish it. I¬†blast that song and belt out my frustrations while driving down the road. It’s like talking¬†to your best friend and getting all the hurt out without having the long discussions or the “I understand” pat on the back. Women, we love to know¬†that there are others who are struggling as much as we are in this crazy mixed up world, especially when it comes to relationships which is why Carrie Underwood’s song Songs¬†Like This¬†as well as I¬†Know You Won’t (well almost any of her songs)¬†strike a chord with all of us.

Men. Oh, men. I have a slight tendancy to think like a man sometimes (or so I’ve been told) due to the fact that¬†the majority of my friends growing up were male and my dad was my best friend. Therefore, I have a¬†faint idea¬†of why you do the things you do. You all want to be macho. You want to be strong and unshakable yet on the inside you are a bunch of softies. At about this¬†time, all of you are cursing me in your mind saying that you are¬†not and never will be emotional. Well, I hate to say it, but you are. You can¬†put on the strongest suit of armor and never smile but you are a pile of mush on the inside when it comes to that¬†one person. I’ve seen it¬†countless times. My guy friends come to me and¬†ask my advice and I look at them as though they have two heads.¬†You like that girl?¬†¬†Is almost always my first thought only because they treat her so badly in person. This is the differentiation between the sexes. Guys, you want to be the sensitive guy but you don’t know how so you just fall back on your only knowledge, which is sarcasm and “guy talk”. Then you go home and spend a majority of your time wondering how to tell her how you feel without being wimpy or freaking her out, hence the mushy songs on the radio.

I think we can all learn one thing. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Psalm 119:160 – “The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.” Personally, I would rather be hated in honesty than loved in lies. It just amazes me that we wonder why this world has such issues when it comes to relationships but if you listen to the radio enough, you begin to understand why. Girls grew up picking petals off flowers under the monkey bars to decide of a guy likes her and boys grew up kicking dirt in the face of the girl they like on the playground. So you see, from the beginning we are all messed up (not saying that all our childhoods were like this, just a generalization).

I don’t know. Maybe I just listen to too much radio or have too much time to think, but that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it until someone proves me wrong.

Luke 16:10 – “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

Tick Tock Goes the Clock

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Are we there yet? When will it be my turn? How much longer till…well you get the point. We are creatures who want things our way in our time. If not, then the world is unfair, unjust, and just plain cruel. How dare people not abide to OUR time and OUR plan…well, I hate to tell you this, but it’s NOT YOURS! That’s right. This life, this time, this world…not yours at all. It all belongs to God. He is the creator and giver of life. Before this becomes more of a¬†sch-peal…to my point and story.

Have you ever stopped to think about why things have happened the way that they have? Me either. Well, not usually at least. Recently, however, it has been weighing on my mind. This question of, “Why now and not then?”…it’s a mind blowing question that we cannot truly answer without believing in Him and what He has for us. Think about it. What if one little event in the past had been altered…we would not be here today. The one thing that I have in mind, of course, is about mathematics. In my History of Math class (yes, I know I’m a nerd), we have recently studied the Greek Era. More specifically, Archimedes. For of you who have no idea who this is, and probably don’t even care, I will make the summary brief. Archimedes is probably one of the top three most influential people in the history of math. He had a burning passion for math and wrote ten books about his discoveries and thoughts. One of the ten books that he wrote, entitled The Method, however, was lost to civilization. That’s right. Nine out of the ten books were passed on and utilized for the development of modern math. The tenth was lost for a very long time. It was rediscovered, however, in the 20th century. Now that the mathematics and scientific community have begun deciphering and translating its ragged pages, we have discovered that within it’s pages lies the beginnings of modern calculus. This, if discovered during the dark ages or even the¬†renaissance, could have dramatically altered our existence because it held the key to nuclear weaponry. That’s right, the key to our modern warfare techniques that are quite¬†devastating, even in this time, could have been available to ancient times.

Think about that while I go on. There is no other explanation other than God hid that book as to save humanity until the time was right¬†for humans to discover it. God alone decides when the timing is right. This is His world and we are merely players on a stage. He is the deciding factor and He has a plan for all of us. God’s timing is perfect.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die,  a time to plant and a time to uproot,  3 a time to kill and a time to heal,    a time to tear down and a time to build,  4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance,  5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,  7 a time to tear and a time to mend,  a time to be silent and a time to speak,  8 a time to love and a time to hate,    a time for war and a time for peace.

We must realize that we are not in control of this world. We must submit to the will of God. He has our best interest at heart and He will not forsake us or leave us. I know that in my life I have always struggled with this. I am extremely OCD and have control issues. I know this. I accept this about myself because it’s the way He made me and I am like no other. However, just because I have accepted this does not mean I am good at showing it and handing my story over to God. I have learned to write my story in pencil and give Him the whiteout because only He knows what is best for me and for the glory of His kingdom. We do have our own time in mind for how things should work out but His plan is so much better. If the ancient Greeks had their way and had found that one book, this world would not be the place that we call home today. Think about that.

We are finite creatures who cannot wrap our minds around the idea of infinity and eternity. We cannot even begin to imagine what He has planned for the world 2000 years from today and, honestly, we never will. All I know is that we need to give Him control and stop trying to play time keeper because before you know it, your time will be over. What will you have to show for it? Will it be a string of prayers begging God to synchronize His watch with yours? Or will it be a life full of glory to God. One that shows just how amazing He is and what He can do with your life if you just TRUST HIM. 

So here is the challenge. Stop worrying about what will be or could be. Put the thoughts of ¬†“When will it be my turn?” or “This needs to happen now” behind you and give it all over to Him. I know it’s not easy and I struggle with it every day but it’s what we need to do. Afterall, we only have this one life. This one glorious life that He has so graciously given to us and only He knows our true potential.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “¬†¬†Trust in the LORD with all your heart¬†¬†and lean not on your own understanding;¬†¬†in all your ways submit to him,¬†¬† and he will make your paths straight.” ¬†

What If You’re Allergic to Grass?

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There’s no argument…men and women have completely different views on the world. If you do argue with this, then you are obviously such an optimist that you can’t see the disagreement (no judgement intended). I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. If we all agreed, this world would be quite boring. This difference, however, is spiraling out of control with every passing day. How is this possible? Before I get into that, let me explain the two perspectives and how I came about this topic.

This may become a normal¬†occurrence…I was inspired to write this by what I heard in chapel today. WAIT!!! Before you stop reading and tune me out, please just hear me out. I also began this particular chapel service with the mindset of, “This is gonna be sooooooo boring!” I, however, was proven completely incorrect. Something I have been struggling with lately is all of my relationships (friends, parents, etc.) and how to bridge the gap in our disagreements. Well, as I sat listening to the speaker, it was as though God was speaking directly to me through this message. Now that I somewhat understand where the disconnection is between the two sexes, I can better understand our disagreements and quarrels. What was it? It began with the introduction of our Ultimate Questions in life. Intrigued? I was. I was certain that nobody could possibly know what I question about myself every day. I, of course, was wrong. Listen up. Men, your Ultimate Question in life is, “Am I Enough?” You all worry about being enough on the outside; being cool or highly thought of. Women, this is why they do stupid things and “show off”…again, no judgement intended. They have a need to feel as though they are the best they can be and so they look for praise. Yet, on the other hand, Women, your Ultimate Question in life is, “Am I Beautiful?” No, not on the outside. This question, unlike the men’s, is internalized. We need acceptance and comfort which is why we worry so much about what other people think.

Now that you have floating around your brain and trying to fit into your scheme about this topic, I will explain how it is spiraling out of control. We are constantly surrounded by unrealistic and overrated images, movies, and ideals that just add pressure to these questions. Men think they need to become superheroes before they are enough…and even then they would probably want to be more. Women, we see supermodels and go to great lengths to become like them, hoping that will get people’s attention and then they will want to get to know us and the accept and love us. WHOA!!!¬†Hold the phone…say what?!? We are constantly measuring ourselves to others…wishing, hoping, longing for more than what God has already blessed us with. This, in turn, is passed on to our children and thus intensified because we, ourselves, are struggling to answer this question and then trying to help them too. The blind leading the blind.

The answer…Jesus, of course. Only He can answer these questions and complete us. If we are not right with Him, all of our relationships will always be strained. It basically will go like this: Man-“I’ll tell you you’re beautiful if you tell me I’m enough.” or some other derivative of this. Really?!? No. This is just so wrong. If you cannot accept yourself for how God made you and the glorious miracle that you are, then you will never be truly happy.

To conclude this ramble…because I can go on for quite some time…we need to stop asking and wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Tend to your own side. For all you know, you could be allergic to the grass on the other side, cross over, and then become a COMPLETE disaster. It happens, even to me. I have wondered if I will ever be enough for someone to love. Will I ever be pretty enough to be accepted. Will anyone ever love me for me and who I am and not how I look on the outside…and I have come to the realization that I have explained tonight. I am more than enough. I am a creation of God. Not only that, there is NOBODY¬†else like me anywhere and there never will be. I do not care what other people think anymore, 99% of the time. I am human. I stumble….a lot. I know, however, that God loves me indefinitely and unconditionally. This brings me great comfort and it should bring you comfort also. He is like your favorite chair. Fall into Him and trust that He will hold you and comfort you. Where are the nachos, because I just brought out the cheese…good thing I’m not lactose intolerant…and I hope that you aren’t also ūüėČ

Before I end, I want to leave you with this. 1 Timothy 6:6-11 ” But godliness with contentment is great gain. /¬†For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. /¬†But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. /¬†Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. /¬†For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. /¬†¬†But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” Worry not about the grass on the other side, tend to your own. Be right with God. He loves you for who you are no matter what. I hope this made sense. I’m pretty sure I got off track but I believe I translated my point as well as I could. ¬†ūüôā God Bless and goodnight!